Hamburger Havoc
by Evil Flaming Kat of Doom
Summary: Who knew a hamberger could cause such problems. Constructive criticism accepted. crack fic.R&R complete for now.
1. HI!

Hamburger havoc

Ch. 1 Hi

Disclaimer: I don't own anything except my imagination and I hardly even own that… how sad.

Evil Kat: wow a random story...my first random story… and here to help me is my sister Speed Reader. Give it up for her. – crickets-

Speed Reader: No matter how horrible this story may be, please don't pelt my little sister with garbage…fresh tomatoes work fine.

Evil Kat: that hurts you know, but onto the story.

" " Talking

' ' Thinking

"I'll find you Cooper!" echoed through Bolivia.

Carmelita road back to her apartment upset with herself for not catching Sly. The next day she stopped at Burger World for a burger and soda for her lunch after a long and uneventful patrol. She had just sat down when crashes came from the hall getting closer to her office. She groaned "What now?". All of the sudden her office door flew open and in runs Murry saying, "Carmelita, Sly loves you" and Sly's chasing after him yelling, "no Murry don't tell her" and last but not least comes Bentley saying " Guys come back here we'll be arrested". Murry comes to a sudden stop at her desk and Sly tripped over his own feet and fell out the window and into a dumpster. Carmelita watching with amusement shook her head and walked back to her desk to eat her burger only to find it gone with Murry standing there, licking his fingers. Carmelita walked to the closet and got out her pistol thinking 'well time for another run.' "You have five seconds to get away starting right now 5, 4, 3, 2, 1." And like Carmelita thought they were riding the van away from her and left the unconscious Sly in the dumpster.

Evil Kat: wow finished and it only took me two days. Puts on proud face

Speed Reader: It took you two days because you kept telling me to write a story. And just to piss you off it's gonna be shorter than this one.

-Whacks sister in the head when she starts to make whiney noises-

Evil Kat: Ow! Wait what whiney noises?

Speed Reader: The ones you made right in my ear…my poor bleeding ear.

Evil Kat: go get a band-aid.

Speed Reader: The sad thing about that last sentence was that neither of us could correctly spell band-aid…

Evil Kat: how sad.

Speed Reader: Shut up.

Evil Kat: make me –sticks tongue out at Speed Reader- but anyway that's the end of my story now I have to go meditate so I don't turn into a flaming cat of doom. And the little blue box that says go is a good little box so click it and review.

Speed Reader: -Roasting marshmallows above her flaming cat of a sister- I love my marshmallows.

Evil Kat: ahhhhhhh the marshmallow fell on my head! -Runs around in a circle trying to get the marshmallow off her head-

Speed Reader: -sniffles- My poor marshmallow.

Evil Kat: and not me? I'm leaving. Thanks for reading, bye.

Speed Reader: Bye! You know she's just gonna add more to this just because she wants to have last word.

Evil Kat: you got it, bye and Speed Reader don't even think about adding more. –glares at Speed Reader and knocks her out when she tries to add more.-


	2. SisterMePainChapter

Hamburger havoc 

Sister + Me + PainChapter

Evil Kat: another random chappie I'm so uncreative. Here is Speed Reader to write this chappie for me! Give it up for her! – Silence-… -sigh- never mind.

Speed Reader: …

Evil K at: um…. Are you asleep?

Speed Reader: -biting lip to keep from saying anything lest Evil Kat whack her again. -

Evil Kat: - staring at Speed Readers bleeding lip- ….Um, ok. Onto the second chapter.

Speed Reader: -poking lip, whimpering in pain, poking lip, whimpering in pain, poking lip, avoiding sister's attempts to stop poking, whimpering in pain when sister's hand misses poking finger and hits head…-

Evil Kat: … ok she's weird I'm just gonna go to the other room.-slowly walks away.- Oh by the way on with the story.

Speed Reader: -poking lip, whimpering in pain, touching head, whimpering in pain…-

Evil Kat: …

Speed Reader: OK I can't stand it! –Still poking-I'll write this chapter! My sis and others tell me I'm pretty funny anyway. –Still touching- I guess I can try. Hey for all of you readers, you know, well, reading this, do you mind telling me if my sister and I should switch out on chapters from now on?

-Still whimpering- (SHE made me write this STUPID CHAPTER, by the way she'll write the next chapter and if you don't like me I won't write anymore on this fic).

Speed Reader's Disclaimer: I own nothing except my own little world and I mean little…it can't even fit all of my marshmallows and Butterfingers…all I could get in were two and a half tons…

Evil Kat: Shut up you big baby!

On The Last Episode Hamburger Havoc

Sly had just been left unconscious in a dumpster, where a cat found his hat very tasty.

Sly's POV

When he woke up the first thing he noticed was that it was dark. And where were Bentley and Murray and especially Carmelita? He was so going to kill Murray when he got his hands on him…he wanted that burger! And why did he smell like cat? Where was his hat? And why did that rhyme?

Carmelita's POV

Where was that overweight-I-Can't-Believe-He's-Not-Diabetic-Yet Hippo? My poor burger…I wanted its juicy scrumptiousness! And why was there a fat cat going around with a piece of Cooper's hat hanging from its mouth? Wait! If she found Cooper then she would find that (Overweight-I-Can't-Believe-He's-Not-Diabetic-Yet) Hippo that stole her BURGER!

"Here kitty, kitty.."

"Raaawwwrrrr!"

"Bad kitty! Bad kitty! Retract the claws kitty! That was my favorite shirt! Die kitty!"

The cat slowly began to…cry.

(Audience: Awwww)

Carmelita picks up the cat and decides to take it home.

Cat's POV

She smells like fast-food…Oh boy burgers!

Murray's POV

Oh the burgers, the burgers, the burgers, how I looovvveee you! Oh the burgers, the burgers, the burgers, how I eeaaattt you! Oh the burgers, the burgers, the burgers, how I stteeeaaall you! Oh burgers you are MINE!

Bentley's POV

"This is so sad…who knew a burger could cause so much damage? Maybe I should by the stock on burgers…and lord it over everyone's head! No, wait that sucks. I know! I could feed everyone soy burgers…no meat…no real cheese…and gray colored slabs of goo on wheat buns! Ha Ha Ha! They must never know that I am EVIL! "

General POV

Little did Bentley know that he had accidently turned on his communicator to Penelope while ranting.

Penelope's POV

Good grief, that's a sucky idea.

Bentley's POV

"Bentley! Don't you dare make burgers into soy stuff because you know that I'm allergic! And what do you mean you're evil? How evil could you honestly be? Huh? I cant' hear you!"

'Ever since I married her she became a nag.'

----------------------

Speed Reader: It was sorta funny right? Please review and tell me if you want my sister to write her own like the first chappie or if you want my sister and I to switch.

Evil Kat: Yeah I cant fight her forever so help me out.

Speed Reader: Fight me! You couldn't write the second bloody chapter!

Evil Kat: I couldn't think!

Speed Reader: That's a constant problem for you isn't it?

Evil Kat: NO! Every other week but I bet that it's a constant problem for you.

Speed Reader: I finally get to end a chapter…Yayyyyy! –ignores deafness and aching hand from attempts to stop last words- 

Speed Reader: I'm sorry to all the fans of Bentley, Penelope and cats in general…I was sugar high…I was bored…I was under pressure…DON'T KILL ME! Evil Kat wouldn't let me change the story. Get HER!

-Evil Kat screams and yells and attacks Speed Reader- sorry for the stupid story we had sugar and it was a random thought;


	3. Chapter 3

Evil Kat: Hi sorry but I'm not going to update for a while. I want 10 reviews before I update. Tina: why? Evil Kat: What? Tina: Why wont you update? Evil Kat: You of all people should know, I mean you are a fragment of my imagination. But I wont be updating for a while because school, homework, my mom thinking I'm depressed, bad grades, and because I'm lazy. So I want at least 10 reviews or more. I don't own Sly Cooper. Now here is a preview of the next chapter. 

"MY COUCH! WHY didn't I lock the door." Carmelita cried. "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH I'm going to be arrested." Sly screamed as he ran around in circles eventually running into a streetlight. With Evil Kat and Tina; Evil Kat: do you spell that with a capital V or not? Tina: Capital V. 'Oh the burgers, the burgers, the burgers, how I looovvveee you! Oh the burgers, the burgers, the burgers, how I eeaaattt you! Oh the burgers, the burgers, the burgers, how I stteeeaaall you! Oh burgers you are MINE!' Murry thought as he ordered his food. BANG…BANG…BANG Bentley slammed his head on the desk 'when will she SHUT UP!'

Evil Kat: Well you just have to review and maybe during the weekend I will update. This isn't an A/N just preview. So if you want an update then review.


	4. Last Chapter

Hamburger Havoc

Evil Kat: It's me again. And Speed Reader and I are not working together any more. So here to help me write this chapter are my muses, Tina and Cory, because I'm lonely.

Tina: You poor thing -hugging Evil Kat-

Cory: Why am I here again?

Evil Kat: Because Tina is your girlfriend and if your not here she will rip me to shreds and then erase the story and we cant have that.

Cory: -pouts- No fair.

Evil Kat: Shut up. I'm not in the mood k. good.

Tina: Cory you say it.

Cory: why I don't even want to be here.

Tina: Exactly.

Cory: Evil Kat doesn't own any thing at all so don't sue she has no money or any thing.

Evil Kat: -wails- I-I-I w-wi-il-ll-l – breaks out in tears crying her heart out-

Tina: shut up-sending death glare at Cory- don't cry you own us and a computer, and a TV and a bed

Evil Kat: - sniffle- Really?

Tina: -nodding head- yes.

Evil Kat: on with the story. – Tying Cory to a chair so he won't leave the fic-

Sly's POV 

'Cat, hat, catty, watty, hatty' Sly thought to himself as he got out of the dumpster he was in. When he was finally out he kept his hand on the dumpster to support his weight while he got the garbage off his feet. The lid dropped on his hand, which caused his tail to puff up three times its size.

Carmelita's POV

"Ok kitty. I'm going to leave for a while. So you're going to be in this cage while I'm gone." Carmelita said as she walked out the door. 'I'm going to find that I-cant-Believe-He's-Not-Diabetic-Yet Hippo if it's the last thing I do.'

Cat's POV

"Meow?" 'She forgot to close the cage door, how stupid is she?'

Bentley's POV

Bang… Bang… Bang… Bang…BANG. Bentleys head was starting to hurt after banging it on the desk so much. 'She is SO annoying! Why did I marry her?' "Bentley, are you listening to me? Bentley? Are you there? Hello? Hello! Come one how evil can you BE?!" 'Nag nag nag that's all she does!'

Sly's POV

Sly started to get up and stopped crying when he saw Carmelita heading his way. "Ok Cooper where is your I-Cant-Believe-He's-Not-Diabetic-Yet-Hippo! You and him are going to jail and he's going to pay for eating my burger!" Carmelita said, as she got closer to him ready to pounce. Sly hopped up and started to run around in a circle "I don't want to go to jail not after what happened with the Contessa!" when he finished talking he ran straight into a light pole and started to cry.

With Evil Kat

Evil Kat: "Do you spell that with a 'V'?"

Tina: "Yes you spell it with a 'V'."

Evil Kat: " why do we have to do spelling in English? I mean hello we should be doing more stuff in math and not in English. This just isn't fair!"

Tina: "I know! Lets get back to our homework before it's to late."

Carmelita's POV

"Oh boy another crybaby! I'm not taking this one home," Carmelita said as she watched Sly rub his nose and cry. It then donned on her "Why didn't I Lock the cage door? My SOFA! My new sofa! Stupid cat! I hate you, you stupid cat!" Carmelita sank to her knees and cried. "Maybe there is still time!" She shot up and raced to her house.

Sly's POV

'What a baby! I mean it's just a sofa!' Sly thought as he shook his head.

Carmelita's POV

"That's it cat we're heading to the pound. And that will be where you will stay until they find you a new home!" Carmelita said to the cat on the way to the pound, which just happened to be just a little ways down from the fast food place Murray was at. When they were getting close she noticed the Cooper Gangs getaway van. 'Oh yes. That means the fat hippo is there and I can get him right after I take this cat to the pound' Carmelita thought evilly.

Murray's POV 

'Oh the burgers, the burgers, the burgers how I looovvveee you! Oh the burgers, the burgers how I eeaaattt you! Oh the burgers, the burgers, the burgers how I stteeeaaall you! Oh burgers you are MINE!' Murray thought as he ordered his burger. He looked up and saw Carmelita's car coming down the road toward him. 'Oh no she's coming to get me!' Murray started to panic and got the van ready for a quick getaway.

END 

Evil Kat: well that's the story. Hope you liked it. Just to let you know this is the last chapter of the story unless some reviews can convince me. I'm happy right now for I got to go to the fair! And got out of school for two and a half days!

Tina: yeah. That was a great fair this year.

Evil Kat: yeah shame it had to rain today for my sickness is over. But if you like this story and you don't want it to end you had better put in some ideas in the reviews. And you had better review.


End file.
